It is an unfortunate truth that quite a few marriages end in divorce, and long-term relationships may break down.
When there are no children involved, this means going your separate ways; but when you have children, you will need to stay in contact with your ex to ensure that your children have access to you both, as and when they need to—and that is where it gets challenging!
How do you keep your children’s well-being intact while you and your spouse begin a divorce or separation? Here are some tips to consider.
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Keep Them Away From Arguments
Couples who are in happy, healthy relationships will have debates and arguments. So, you can imagine what that can look like if you have to see your ex-partner regularly, who you may feel caused your separation.
One way you can aim to reduce the impact your separation has on your kids is to keep them away from conflict and arguments. Don’t complain to them about your ex, don’t argue in front of them, and don’t drag them into it!
If you need help with researching conflict resolution with your ex, head to Two Healthy Homes for more advice.
Communicate
Your child or children are going to be upset at the changes, such as you or your partner moving out or you getting into a new relationship.
Try to be as open and as honest as you can be with them about all of these issues—but try to keep it as neutral as you can, and make sure the communication level you are using is appropriate for them to understand. Allow them to ask questions and to talk about their feelings if they need to. All of this will minimize the potential damage that may come from you and your partner separating.
Try To Maintain A Relationship With Your Co-Parent
You will need to talk to the other parent of your child or children a lot—even if it is just to arrange when you are picking them up.
Try to maintain this relationship as much as you can. Don’t stick your nose into their business and put in your own boundaries, too. You are no longer together, and so all you should be talking about with each other are your children. If you find this hard to do, it may be worth seeking out therapy to help you explore your feelings, which will also make your children happier too!
Provide Stability
Children need stability to feel safe and happy. So, when it is your turn to look after your child or children, stick to the same routines, and make sure that you do not have a different set of rules at your house, as this could create a lot of confusion, especially for young children.
Seek Help
If you and your former spouse feel that your child or children have been negatively impacted by the separation, then you need to seek professional help. This can be in the form of a child counselor or a therapist.