When you are heading towards a divorce, you can sense it. It just does not happen in one day. It takes several days, sometimes months, and sometimes even years for a couple to fully get fed up, realize that they cannot stay together, and finally break apart. The time definitely varies from one couple to another, but the increasing gap, and reducing warmth can be realized, and the damage can be sensed pretty well. Hence, if you want to save your relationship, then you can think about things differently, and try new things to save it.
You cared about your marriage and always wanted to be happy and save the marriage. But things did not work out as planned, and that is understood. Also, it is understood that you tried things, tried discussions, and tried counseling too in various ways, which probably did not work out. But before taking the final step, you must be sure that you tried all the things stated below.
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Discussions must include family members and in-laws
Marriage is not just a relation between the husband and the wife; there is more to it. This involves the union of two families. Hence, when the marriage breaks, the two families get separated, and many relations that formed through the time also breaks. Not all relationships are forced and legal only. Many grow with sentiment over time. Many relationships grow very strong with time, and even when the relation between the spouses break, the relation of the grandchild with the grandparents do not break.
And sometimes the kids grow too fond of their cousins or aunts and uncles. Many such relationships form over time, and the end of the marriage cannot just stop those people from living in those relationships. That is why any break in the marriage impacts the mental wellbeing of all the people who are bonded together just through the marriage. Hence any discussion that is going on between the husband and wife post their mental separation should include the in-laws and family members. The core family must play a role in giving their inputs.
Sometimes you do not get a solution to a problem when you discuss it alone just with the spouse. But things are looked upon in a different light when the same matter is presented before the in-laws and family. Therefore what many aged and advanced people lived in their lives and experienced, may come out as their expert tips and advice. And many such inputs can make you think differently, maybe for the first time. Often such guidance is needed, and when you get them, you may get forced emotionally to think different. That’s why, it’s always a great idea to involve the core family members from both sides in a discussion, where you tell them openly that as the couple you are going through such and such hurdles, and are going to break up.
Hidden things spilled out won’t cause more harm than the divorce itself
You may initially think that it would be hard to discuss ugly internal issues between family members. But when the relationship dies, things get even uglier. Hence, its better discuss it now and save things from the wreck than living the wreck and see things turn out more disastrous.
Counseling helps
Counseling with a lawyer often is the last step in marriage. And then again this step may save or break the marriage, and a save is not guaranteed anyway. But prior counseling with a marriage counselor can help. Also in some cases, psychiatric counseling or counseling with a therapist may help. Every kind of counseling has its effects and results.
How does a marriage counselor help?
Marriage counseling is very important when you are nearing the disaster. A marriage counselor helps by talking to both of the spouses individually, and then together, and addresses the issues to each, discuss them openly, and discusses the most practical and logical solutions to problems in a way so that things can be reshaped and thought of constructively. Definitely to approach this solution, both the spouses must be willing to find a solution, if only they are willing to give their marriage a chance, then they can do this. If the willpower does not come from inside, then a marriage counselor also would be of little help.
Therapies or psychiatric counseling can help in many cases. The thought process or style of thinking can be changed. One may be advised to take and see things differently in a different light. In such cases also both the spouses get counseled, and sometimes things may improve. In many cases, none of the above steps help. Then only a lawyer expert in divorce cases and family law can help. And you will have to find a divorce lawyer in Suffolk County then.
How does a divorce lawyer help?
A divorce lawyer helps with a divorce in mainly two stages. First, the lawyer would counsel you, and tell you one more time to finally give it a chance and see for anything to improve. Next, the lawyer would arrange for a meeting for settlement out of the court. In this primary stage, the lawyer will speak on your behalf, while the lawyer of your spouse would be there to speak on his behalf. If things get settled and any deal is done, then that is what completes the lawyer’s job, and the agreement would be formed. Else in the second stage, the case would be taken to court, and atrial would be fought by the lawyer on your behalf. That is why a lawyer would function.
Finally
The best you can do to give your divorce a shape is to talk to a good lawyer and get advice. If you talk to a good lawyer, then the journey from separation to divorce can be much smoother, where you can be guided fully to get your rights, and you get the full support to get what you deserve.